Friend, You Need a Good Rest.

I hadn’t felt this tired in over a decade.

Ironically, 2021 had been a pretty good year. Day to day, I had felt far less stressed than I did before the pandemic began. I know this isn’t the case for many. I lost my mother to COVID last year; I know many who lost loved ones. Maybe that was my problem, maybe not.

But I’d had a vacation scheduled, and as it got closer, I felt almost powerless to get things done. I could work while at work, but I couldn’t write at home, couldn’t develop ideas. Creatively, I had been running on empty for much longer than I wanted to admit.

I love to write at home, and I often do so when my family’s around (typically I don’t need to be locked away; the only thing I absolutely cannot tolerate while I’m working is having the television on).

Instead, though, while at home, I found myself playing video games, watching television, or (and this is never a bad investment) playing with the kids.

So tired.

One factor was probably that, though I’d had plenty of vacation time at the church I work at, I hadn’t missed a Sunday there for two years. This was necessary: I’m the media guy there, we started streaming services during 2020 like every other church in America, and I needed to be present.

This scheduled vacation became one of the most important things in my life. Leading up to it, I’d find myself sitting in my office chair at work and just staring.

This was not good.

I’m writing this note during the last day of that vacation. I can’t tell you if it transformed my life or anything, but I do feel like I can get back to it again.

We had some incredible family time. We hung out in some of the most beautiful spots in California: Malibu, El Capitan, Solvang, Los Angeles, Big Bear, San Diego. Driving along California’s Highway 1 is better, much better, than you’ve heard it described.

I got to spend about a day alone with my wife, which is a huge blessing when you have two toddlers.

I watched three movies, which is a lot for me now. One of them, if you can wrestle through its length, is recommended; I’m glad I finally finished it: Terrence Malick’s A Hidden Life.

I did not meet my vacation writing goals. I really wanted to have a draft of Empire of the Sword ready by today. I wanted to write at least 10,000 words. Instead, I wrote about 3,800. Honestly, based on the amount of rest I really needed, that was probably too much.

Anyways, I got a good rest.